Caring for the Earth With Our Children

Sunday, April 22nd is Earth Day, an international day to raise awareness around and take action connected to the many ecological challenges that face our world. But in our Jewish tradition, we have numerous opportunities in our day to day lives to teach our children to treat the natural world with respect and care. While "living green" may seem trendy, thousands of years of Jewish ritual and values can steer the way we contemporary parents teach our children to be partners in making the world a healthier place for people, animals, our lakes and oceans, plants and trees.

I remember sitting in science class when I was in sixth grade, watching a filmstrip (yes, it was the early eighties) about landfills and garbage. It was devastating to sit and watch what happened to all of the trash that I had previously tossed out with no thought. I asked my teacher afterwards what could be changed and he looked at me sadly and said, "There's nothing we can do."

That sense of environmental inertia surrounded my middle and high school years, but by college, I connected with other like-minded people who were finding ways to take action around their eco-friendly values. Later in my twenties, when I went through a period of re-discovering and engaging with being Jewish after largely leaving behind formal connection to Jewish community  when I left home for college, I discovered within the Jewish world a number of organizations and groups of people dedicated to living in an ecologically sound way, inspired by Jewish tradition.

When I became a mom in my early 30s, I knew that I wanted to raise my children with a love for the natural world, the knowledge that we are responsible as human beings to care for the earth and a reverence and respect for what they eat. These are some of the simple, hands-on ways that we bring these important Jewish values to life in our home, not just in April, but throughout the year:

• Loving Nature: For all of us busy parents who spend lots of time behind screens and in our cars, it can take an effort to make sure we're getting outside to spend quality time in nature with our children. Setting aside a weekend afternoon to explore one of our areas amazing parks is a wonderful way to make sure that you and your kids are getting to be in nature. When my kids were young, the ducks in Valley Green were a major draw and as they grew older, we moved deeper into the woods to find waterfalls and explore favorite paths. In Jewish tradition, there are blessings that we say when we see a rainbow, the first blooms in spring and other natural wonders. Using traditional words and/or inviting children to give thanks for what they love in nature deepens their connection to what they experience when you explore the outdoors.
• Recycle: There is something that we can do to deal better with our garbage and thank goodness that most of our communities have a recycling program. Get your little ones involved in helping you to sort paper and plastic. Show them the recycling symbol so that they can look for it with you in the grocery store. Helping to put out the recycling bin is a great way for young children to work on their gross motor skills. Recycling is a way of bringing the Jewish value ba'al taschit (do not waste) to life.
• Making Thoughtful Food Choices: Our Jewish tradition brings us kashrut, a practice that can help to make us conscious of our food choices and the way that we treat animals. There are so many ways that we can make food choices in our homes that help support a healthy world. For example, although we are not all vegetarian in my house, we always eat vegetarian on "Meatless Monday," an international effort to help the planet by eating less meat. You and your kids can shop locally at farmer's markets in your neighborhoods,buy Fair Trade products, and even start your own garden to learn first hand about where food comes from. 
• Lower Your Carbon Footprint: Rather than the doomed eco-education that so many of us grew up with, we parents  can now show our children how each one of us can lower our carbon footprint with simple changes in behavior. For example, you and your children may choose to select one day/week when you walk or ride bikes instead of drive or put your cellphones and other electronic devices away. Many Jewish families are rediscovering the importance of Shabbat as an eco-friendly day!
• Get Active!: The most important message that I try and give my kids is that we all can take action to make the world a better place for ourselves and for future generations. The idea of Tikkun Olam--taking care of/repairing the world--is the value that underlies our jkidphilly "Little Hands Make a Big Difference" programs. Please bring your children out and help us take action in a fun, child-friendly way. There are SO many ways to help take care of our earth and we on the jkidphilly team are happy to help you think through ideas that work best for your family.

Happy Earth Day! Please share the ways that you and your kids go green here or on our jkidphilly facebook page.
Gabby
Gabby Kaplan-Mayer is Jkidphilly Program Director in Center City.

Cooking With Your Kids For Passover

By Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer

Maybe even more so than for any other Jewish holiday, food is forefront to our celebrating of Passover. When we sit down together to re-tell the ancient tale of once being slaves in the land of Egypt, the food on the seder plate helps us recount our journey to freedom. From the tears represented in the salt water to the bitterness of the maror, the sweet and sometimes savory charoset mixture and the matzah that we eat throughout the holiday, the special foods of Passover have helped to carry the Exodus story from one generation to the next.

It’s not only the ceremonial foods that make Passover cuisine memorable—it’s also the sharing of favorite family recipes creatively concocted by home cooks figuring ways to feed their families without using leavening for eight days. From kugels to rolls to Passover desserts and dumplings, many of us pull out recipes during Passover that we only make at this specific time of year.

As parents, one of the most experiential ways that we can teach our children about Passover tradition is to bring them right into the kitchen with us. Whether you’re new to making your own seder and keeping Passover or have been cooking Passover recipes for years, here are some ideas for sharing the experience of preparing your families’ Passover food with your little chefs by your side:

• Shopping for Special Ingredients: In the weeks before Passover, many grocery stores (especially around metropolitan areas) begin stocking Kosher for Passover food.  Make a list of foods that you will need for Passover and plop your little ones into the shopping cart. You can make a point of showing them all of the different foods that the store is carrying for Passover.  Ask them to guess how many boxes of matzah that they see on the shelf! With older children, you can do a “scavenger hunt” and invite them to help you find the items that are on your grocery list. Add some different items to your list like fresh horseradish root and see if your kids know what to look for.
• Prep your cooking space: As a cooking instructor, I often remind parents that their prep before starting a recipe is essential to the success of the cooking experience. Clear a space where you and your kids can work together. Make sure that you have all of the ingredients and cooking tools that the recipes calls for before you begin. I always have an empty dishpan near where I'm cooking to easily collect dirty spoons, bowls, etc.
•  Choose some kid-friendly recipes: There are so many wonderful Passover recipes to choose from. Often when I’m teaching Passover cuisine, I’ll start with charoset and choose a few different recipes from around the world. There’s lots of chopping practice with the apples, and I use recipes that also feature bananas and oranges so that little hands can keep busy peeling and slicing with a plastic knife. Another fun approach to Passover cooking with your kids is to brainstorm all of the fun and different toppings that you could add to matzah. In my house, we start with a little tomato sauce on the matzah and have created some wild and wonderful matzah pizzas from there!

• Focus on Fruit/veggies: All of us, in every season, can only benefit from adding more fruits and vegetables to our diet. Passover is a great time to encourage children to explore new kinds of fruits and veggies. In my children’s cookbook, The Kitchen Classroom, I feature a “play with your food” recipe called ABC vegetable salad in which kids spell their names or any word they like using cut up carrots, celery, pepper, cucumber and avocado slices. This activity is also a great way to keep kids engaged at the seder table while they’re waiting to eat—you could invite them to make up Passover-related words. I’ve found that by inviting kids to play with their veggies, they are much more likely to eat them!

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer is Jewish Learning Venture’s Program Director for Family Engagement in Center City and for Special Needs Resources. She blogs about cooking with kids at www.kitchenclassroom4kids.com.

Inclusion for Every Child and Family

When my son was diagnosed with autism at age three, I was plunged into an alternative universe in which his childhood became a therapeutic environment, in which my husband and I struggled to find the best professionals who could help him learn to communicate and modulate his heightened reactions to sensory input. Juggling speech, occupational and physical therapies with a cognitive-behavior system and special diet and supplement regimen, we became, as most parents do who are thrust into this role, experts and advocates, determining to help our child in every possible way.

My beautiful son just celebrated his tenth birthday and in the seven years since his diagnosis, I’ve learned more about compassion, love, grief, patience and joy than I could have imagined possible. I’ve also learned that the system that parents enter when a child is diagnosed with a disability is a very flawed system. Therapy for a child cannot work in isolation, when a child is part of an interdependent system that we call family, extended family, community. Parents, grandparents, siblings and cousins all need resources and supports to help them process the challenges of supporting a child with special needs.

When I was depressed or overwhelmed with my son’s challenges, I was not able to carry out his therapies. This is a secret shame that many parents who are asked to shoulder so much, are not able to acknowledge. But because I so much wanted my son to learn and grow, I pushed through my isolation and found resources to help me move through my difficult feelings and begin to embrace the road ahead for my family and me.

One important resource for us were two Jewish preschool programs for children with special needs—Bright Horizons at Temple Beth Hillel-Beth El and then Sinai at Adath Jeshurun. In these programs, we discovered teachers who loved and understood my son and offered ongoing support to us as parents. I connected with other parents sharing my struggles, which was a very important step in moving out of my shock and despair.

As a Jewish educator, I decided to create a program called Celebrations!, a Shabbat program in which children of all abilities could experience a developmentally-appropriate worship service followed by learning with the child, parents and siblings together. Celebrations! became a way for my family to experience Jewish holidays, values and learning together and our program has since been replicated in three other local synagogues.

February is Jewish Disabilities Awareness Month, an opportunity for families, educators, clergy and everyone in our Jewish community to shine light on the unique challenges of our members who have different abilities and to affirm our traditions’ imperative to embrace all people and to see God’s image reflected in every human being, whether or not he/she has physical, cognitive or emotional challenges.

Since living with my son’s disability, my personal and professional life has transformed to focus on education about special needs and inclusion. How I wish that I had stretched to learn about the experience of people with different abilities before discovering that my child was such a person. When each of us learns about the experience of life with a disability—from a friend, community member or by watching documentaries or attending conferences—we begin to remove the unconscious fears around disability that so many of us carry and begin to see the dignified human lives that shine through the diagnosis.

In February, Jewish Learning Venture will host three important seminars for parents and educators on topics related to special needs in our “Whole Child” series and in April, we will host a full day “Openingthe Gates of Torah” inclusion conference. I hope that you will join us for these important events and share them with families you may know who could use some support and understanding from our community.  

Thanks and Giving

I blame it all on Spongebob. Once we let my daughter June, now 7, enter the world of Bikini Bottom when she was 5, she quickly lost interest in her old friends Max and Ruby on Nick, Jr. and forget about Martha, Curious George and Word Girl on PBS Kids. With Spongebob and the others shows on Nick came commercials. Lots of them. If you have children around a certain age, you know what I'm talking about and can probably sing all of the lyrics to the "Dream Light" jingle, too.

"Mommy, can I have..."--"Mommy, I want..."--"Mommy, so and so has..."...the world of commercials wet my daughter's appetite for stuff in a way that I was not quite prepared for. The truth is, our family lives in a generally non-materialistic way. My kids wear hand-me-downs. My plates don't match. Some of our best furniture was left on someone else's front curb. I think of us as Bohemian or maybe Shabby Chic...but ordering toys, dolls and glimmer tattoos advertised on TV is not really part of how we roll.

So how do we busy parents help our children to connect with a feeling of gratitude for all that they have, help them resist the desire to buy more, more, more, and even begin to think about all of the other people out there who are in need of resources? It's definitely not an easy task for most of us adults, let alone our children, given the consumerist culture that surrounds us most of the time.

But what I've discovered in the last few years is that making time for conversations and experiences connected to gratitude is really essential to my children's development. It doesn't mean that my daughter has stopped asking for all that she sees on TV, but it does mean that she is becoming aware of just how lucky she is to have so many things that she wants and that she does have a great capacity for thinking of others.

Here are a few ways that we build the conversation of thanks and giving into our busy lives:

1. Do A Mitzvah: Thankfully, the Jewish tradition has an ancient system that when put into practice helps us move away from thinking only of self to focus on doing for others. Even young children can help you do mitzvot--in fact, our jkidphilly Little Hands Make A Big Difference programs (that take place monthly all over the Greater Philadelphia area) involve young children in making snack bags for people who need food, packing socks or gloves for people who need them, and even making dog toys for pets who live in shelter. Giving your child the experience of doing for others helps him/her to internalize the idea that we all can help each other.
2. Donate: When my daughter wants new things, we initiate a process of looking at her current crop of toys and assessing what she really plays with. Could some toys go to her younger cousin? She has helped me drop off bags of her clothes to a nearby homeless shelter. Giving things away can be really hard for young children. My daughter has made clear to me that her dolls and animals are off limits and so we don't touch them, but instead focus on all of the things that she is willing to share.
3. Save: When birthday money or Hanukkah gelt comes from generous relatives, we love to fill those piggy banks (and some goes in the kids' Tzedekah boxes, too). When a commercial comes on TV with something very desirable, we can check in the piggy bank and see whether there is enough money to make that purchase. Saving helps young children to begin to grasp the abstract concept of money.
4. Reflect: It's as simple as asking some really direct questions when my daughter tells me that she wants something or that so and so has more (toys/clothes/dolls) than she does. I might say Tell me why you would like that new teddy bear when you already have five sitting on your bed...or Do you think that living in a big house makes people happier? Whatever she says, I listen and do not respond with a judgement or sermonize about right/wrong. I just try and create opportunities for her to reflect on "things" and "stuff" after her initial impulse to want more, more, more.
5. Bless: I go back to our Jewish tradition again. It is a really helpful ritual to say a blessing over food with children and to begin conversations about where our food comes from and how fortunate we are to have plenty of food. Blessings can be something special that you do on Friday night or they can become a daily ritual. We have a great jkidphilly program called Our Jewish Home that gives families very helpful resources to learn Shabbat blessings together.

May your season of "thanks" and "giving" be full of blessings and light!
Gabby Kaplan-Mayer,
Program Director for Family Engagement in Center City
and for Special Needs Resources

Fitting It In: Reading With Your Kids

Picture the scene: It’s 8:30pm at night, my seven-year-old daughter is tucked in her bed and has picked out her favorite new book for me to read to her. First she needs to kiss her dolls and stuffed animals and say good-night to them…and while she’s busy doing that, I, bad mommy, fall asleep on the rug next to her bed. “Wake up, Mommy!” she screams, shaking my shoulders. “I wasn’t asleep…I was just resting,” I say, groggily opening Ramona’s World and trying to focus on the page. But the truth is, I was out cold.

Sound familiar to any of you? I know how important reading with my children is in promoting their love of books and learning…and, sometimes, bedtime story time needs to be short and sweet because I’m tired after a full day of work and taking care of children and home. Fortunately, as a busy mom, I’ve figured out ways to integrate literacy skills into teachable moments that are just part of our everyday lives…and these are simple activities that you can share with your little ones.

My children are now seven and nine and because my son has autism and is delayed in some cognitive areas, we are still working on teaching him basic reading skills, while we are reinforcing the learning that is happening in my daughter’s first grade classroom. The activities that I describe below work well for toddlers, preschool age children and can be fun and productive for elementary age children as well: 
Read at the table: In my home, we try and sit down for a family dinner together as many nights during the week as we can. My kids eat in about ten minutes, so I invite them to stay at the table while my husband and I finish and look at a book. Sometimes when my husband needs to work late, I feed the children first and they come back to the table for dessert with dad. We’ll pull out a favorite story to read during dessert time. We’ll also pull out stories when we’re cuddling on the couch eating an after school snack.

2.       In the car: How much of your life do you spend in the car schlepping your sweeties to their various activities? Driving can be a fun time to make up your own stories. Get inspired by the sights that you’re driving by, the weather, the activities that are ahead in your day. You can start a story with one sentence, “One day, a big moving truck was on its way to a magical town…” and invite your child(ren) to make up the next sentence. Take turns until you’ve created your own tale! This activity helps your child understand that stories have a beginning, middle and end and inspires imagination.

4.       Tell Your Child’s Story: One of my favorite ways to make up an original story is to make my child the main character and simply narrate his/her day. “One day, a beautiful boy named George woke up and ate a very big breakfast. He helped to put on his clothes and put toothpaste on his toothbrush. He walked to school with mom…” Nothing fancy, just framing what your child does during the day into a narrative. You can enrich the story with vocabulary words that you’d like your child to learn and you can invite him/her to help tell the story. This process is a lovely way to bond with your babies after a busy day—your child can hear the ways that you’ve noticed all that he/she has done during a busy day.

5.       Sign up for PJ Library: If you haven’t already! How much fun is it to receive a monthly package with wonderful new books? Inside of the flap of the PJ Library books are questions that you can ask your child after reading together. Or simple ask, “What was your favorite part of the story?” You’ll be amazed with what conversations will be started.

My children keep their PJ books on a special bookshelf and they still pick out the stories to read many evenings before bed…when mommy stays awake. :)

Gabby Kaplan-Mayer,

Program Director for Family Engagement in Center City and for Special Needs Resources

Rosh Hashanah Rituals

Celebrating the New Year As A Family

By Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer,

Program Director, Family Engagement, Center City

L’shana Tovah—Happy New Year! On Sunday at sundown, Jewish people all over the world will take a break from their daily schedule to honor the creation of the world, the opportunity to make changes in our behavior and to begin the year with a fresh start and to simply be grateful for the blessings that are abundant in our lives. For many, the holiday is a time to gather with family and friends for a festive meal and to spend time in synagogue gathered in community.

For families with young children, long days in synagogue are not always easy or optimal. There are many ways to celebrate and honor the spirit of holiday that may work well for your family. I am going to share some of the favorite Rosh Hashanah traditions that I’ve enjoyed with my children over the years and I hope that you’ll add some of your own in the comments section below!

·         Baking Challah: In my home growing up, my parents were not bakers and making cookies meant slicing up a tube of Pillsbury dough. But I still remember the year that my mom decided we should make our own round challah for Rosh Hashanah—a symbol of the seasons and cycle of life. We had so much fun kneading the dough that round challah-making became and annual tradition. Here is a great challah recipe. And if you don’t have time to bake your own challah this year, be sure to join one of our jkidphilly playdates and pick up a round challah from us!

·      Apples, apples everywhere: Food helps to explain the meaning of our holidays to young children (and adults, too!). The sweetness and smell of apples and honey reminds us to have a sweet new year. There are so many great pick-your-own farms in the Greater Philadelphia area—why not take your family on an apple-picking adventure and slice up what you pick for Rosh Hashanah?

·         Books and Music: Hopefully your family is signed up for PJ Library (if not, just click here) and you have some wonderful High Holiday books to read with your children like Sammy Spider's First Rosh Hashana and It's Shofar Time. You can also listen and sing along to holiday songs with your children; click here for a link to some free songs that you can download.

·         Tashlich: On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, it is traditional to go to a body of water and toss in breadcrumbs, representing the process of tossing away old behaviors that are no longer serving us. This multi-sensory ritual is a wonderful one to experience with children. Pack some crumbs, head to a little creek near you (my family loves to go to Valley Green every year), and talk about the behaviors that each of you will try to say good-bye to in the New Year. How powerful it is for children to know that their parents make mistakes and that our tradition provides a way for us to say that we’re sorry and try better next time.

·         Attending children’s services: The High Holidays are a special time to experience Jewish worship together--for many children listening to the call of the shofar is a moment that they anticipate each year. If your family is not connected to a synagogue, there are many communities that will welcome you to children’s (and adult) services. Visit our jkidphilly calendar to look for Rosh Hashanah services. If you need help finding a synagogue to attend for the holidays in your Kehillah, our staff at Jewish Learning venture will be happy to help you.

Wishing you all a sweet, happy, healthy New Year and I look forward to connecting with you—online or in person—very soon!

Blessing the Backpacks

Last week, a friend of mine sent me a link to an article in the Huffington Post religion section about a church who gathers children together for a "blessing of the backpacks" ritual. This back to school ceremony gathers children together before the start of the school year to offer them a blessing and remind them that God is with them as they start off to school.
How smart! Like many of you, I just sent off my children to school this morning. My daughter begins first grade with a new teacher and my son begins third grade in the same autism support classroom that he was in last year. Both children have grown so much physically, emotionally and cognitively since leaving school last June. The summer was rich with family time, travel, outdoor concerts, camp and time just to relax and stay up late.

For many of us parents, Labor Day weekend is an emotionally-packed time, as we address our children's anxieties about the coming school year and face our own. Will our child have a teacher who "gets" them? Will they make new friends? How will we balance homework with down time and after-school activities?
The "Blessing of the Backpack" ritual is one way to calm and center families during this transitional time and help keep this new beginning in perspective. In our Jewish tradition, we are fortunate to begin the new school year just as we begin the new year with Rosh Hashana.
Rosh Hashana, coming in just a few weeks, is an opportunity for us to enter the new year with reflection, prayer and family traditions. Over the next couple of weeks, I'll share ideas about celebrating the new year with young children.
If you and your family have special traditions to celebrate the start of school or the start of the new year, please post your comments below--thank you.
May all of our children be blessed with a fantastic school year!